


The First Promise

by SecondSilk



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Come As You're Not 2009, Come As You're Not Challenge, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-11
Updated: 2010-10-11
Packaged: 2017-10-12 14:51:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/126016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecondSilk/pseuds/SecondSilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Merlin is careless with his magic in Arthur's presence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Costume for Come As You're Not. My first fic in this fandom.

In the end it was minor, stupid and forgetful. Something Merlin would have no excuses for when he finally came to tell Gaius what had happened. Arthur normally slept through Merlin's arrival in his rooms, except this morning, when Arthur wasn't lost to dreams, but just awake enough to see Merlin light the candle on his washstand with two syllables and a gesture.

Perhaps it was better this way, Merlin thought in the horrible moment he stared at Arthur's sleep fuzzled frown. Arthur rubbed his eyes and scratched his head, and barely sounded out the word, "Sorcery."

The pitcher Merlin was carrying dropped from his hands. He stopped it from hitting the ground and, having gone too far to deny anything anymore, floated it back to the stand. It landed with a terrific thunk.

Arthur sat up in bed, his eyes clear, focussed; his expression calculating.

Merlin fled.

He did not run to anywhere in particular. His room was too close and too small. There was nothing productive to be done, so physical exhaustion was all he hoped for.

He found that somewhere beyond the edge of the city.

*

Arthur found him on the edge of the lake hours later, when the shadows were slanting from another direction. He dropped a sack of apples at Merlin's feet. Merlin didn't risk looking at him, but did take an apple and bit into it.

"Did you mean it?" was the first thing Arthur said.

Merlin chewed a bite of apple carefully and swallowed before he said, "Mean what?"

"That second day." Arthur dropped onto the ground beside Merlin, mimicking his pose, elbows on knees. "I said that I could take you apart with one blow and you said that you could do the same to me with less. Can you do that?"

Merlin blinked. For a moment he had no idea what to say. "It's more complicated than that."

"How?" Arthur demanded, with all his usual diplomacy. "Yes or no, could you kill me—here, now—without moving?"

Merlin rubbed his eyes. He could feel the power of the magic sitting there, waiting. The words were welling up inside him, ready to bleed onto his tongue and prove his strength. He winced.

"Not you," he said, deciding that it was time not only for the truth, but the whole truth.

"Huh?"

"I could have, maybe, that second day. Although I didn't know very much about what I was doing. Someone else, someone who wanted to kill you. They'd probably be dead before I thought about it. But magic's not like fighting, it's—it's more complicated."

"Right, yes, a few nonsense words, much harder than years of physical and tactical training. You can barely tell one of a sword from the other."

"Not like that," Merlin said, desperate not to anger Arthur and anxious that Arthur seemed to be listening to what he was saying rather than dismissing it. "There's emotion involved. It's not enough to know that it's the right strategic move, you have to want it. I can't turn magic on someone as weapon without personally wanting to hurt them, feeling it, delighting in it.

"I couldn't ever kill you."

"But someone who was trying to kill me, huh?" Arthur said.

"Well, sire, it is my duty to protect you as well as I am able."

Arthur snorted. Extremely undignified, Merlin thought, suppressing a teasing smile. Arthur had stopped paying attention to him again, staring out across the water instead. Merlin wasn't sure whether he was relieved or not.  
Arthur stood abruptly and stalked several steps away then turned abruptly and came back.

"All right," he said. There was a pause where Arthur bit his lip against what he had to say and Merlin held his apple core. "I've got to go," Arthur said.

He marched back to where he had tethered his horse, leaving Merlin to stare after him.

*

The following morning, Merlin went to prepare Arthur's rooms as usual, armed with his own candle. Arthur was awake, sitting on his bed staring moodily, or perhaps thoughtfully, at his washstand. Merlin acknowledged Arthur's presence with only a barest nod and got to work silently.

"No magic today," Arthur said, quietly, no quite a query.

"No, my lord. Not in my lord's rooms," Merlin said.

He'd spent the night thinking about how to behave in this aftermath. Proper subservience was all he could think of to do to lose everything. He didn't look directly at Arthur as he spoke, although he paused in laying out Arthur's clothes. Arthur did not immediately respond, so Merlin continued his duties.

Arthur pulled himself out of bed and began to dress. Merlin collected his soiled clothes from the floor. Dressed and looking more like a prince than a sullen boy, Arthur coughed to attract Merlin's attention. Merlin paused again, but continued to look at the floor.

"Do you have nothing to say for yourself?" Arthur demanded, slow and cold.

Merlin thought that was a bit rich, given the way Arthur had run off during their discussion the day before.

"I—ah, I'm sorry I lied to you, my Lord."

Arthur exploded, "By all that's holy, Merlin!" and turned away. Merlin winced and tried to think of anything more he might have to say.

"Of course you _lied_ to me. It's probably the only intelligent decision you made since you got here. What choice do I have now? commit treason against my father or have you executed."

Merlin stared at Arthur, his hands fisted in Arthur's shirt and his mouth open. Arthur did not seem to see him as he paced the room.

"Have you practiced magic in Camelot before yesterday?"

The question was sharp. Arthur's voice suddenly lacked the burgeoning hysteria. Merlin could see the man who would be king; it was not reassuring.

"Answer me."

"Yes, my lord."

"Who else knows?"

"I will not answer that, my lord."

Merlin concentrated on keeping his breathing even. Arthur had paused in his agitated pacing, jaw set, fists clenched. Merlin met his narrowed eyes.

"Good," Arthur said, as though surprised.

He seemed to come to, then; he shook his head and rolled his eyes lightly at the sight of Merlin, who was sure he looked about as ungainly as ever.

"We're training today. Get the targets set out."

"Yes, sire." Merlin bent to pick up the last of Arthur's clothes and didn't fully straighten. He could see Arthur well enough to watch him throw his hands up in disgust.

"And stop with that whole servant act. It's just… disturbing."

Merlin gathered up his bundle and fled again.

*

Merlin turned sharply when Arthur shouted for him. The knights were breaking up, heading back into the dining rooms. Arthur jogged up to meet Merlin.

"It was you with the griffin, wasn't it?"

Merlin blanched. Arthur gave him a clip round the ear. "There's no one listening. Don't look so much like you've got something to hide."

Merlin fell in behind the Arthur as he walked back towards his chambers. "I do have something to hide," he reminded Arthur.

"Yes, but you don't have to look like you do. And it was you with the griffin, wasn't it? I remember Gaius talking about it being a magical creature."

Arthur missed a step and cursed as he grabbed Merlin for balance.

"Gaius knows," he said, in the same tone of horrified realisation he'd had when he'd learnt of the magic.

"Can we not do this here?" Merlin hissed, trying look up and down the stairs at the same time.

Once they had made it to the relative safety of the heir's chambers, Merlin shooed Arthur into his chair and went to the table.

"Do you want some wine?"

"No. Sit down."

Merlin gingerly perched on the edge of the chair by the table.

"So, the griffin? You spelled Lancelot's spear so that it would strike a blow."

"Yes."

"Who knows about you?" Merlin opened his mouth to object, when Arthur continued, "Other than Gaius."

Merlin let out a breath "My mother."

Arthur tilted his head back against his chair and closed his eyes. After a moment he sighed deeply, but it was another moment before he spoke again.

"You caused that wind."

Then there was question after sharp question about every specific event since Merlin had arrived in Camelot. His involvement in everything from Tom's recovery to the tournament against Valient. No, Merlin had merely cause the snakes to reveal themselves, he hadn't enchanted them in the first place; No, Merlin hadn't come to Camelot because of Arthur; Gaius had known his mother years before; there was no plot to infiltrate the city or the castle.

"Why are you here?"

"You said that I should sit," Merlin said, his mind still stepping carefully around the dragon underneath the castle and whether Arthur was going to report him to the king, answering only what each question asked.

"Here, this castle, this position, Merlin?! You're my servant. You could be anywhere else with laws friendlier to sorcerers. Gaius knows enough people to recommend you somewhere you'd be safe."

"But I'm needed here."

"Mucking out my horses?" Arthur finally sounded amused instead of resolute. Merlin found it in him to smile slightly.

"Whatever you need me to do."

Arthur huffed quietly in response and gestured Merlin to elaborate. Merlin took a breath. He'd said this all to Arthur before, but in his chambers after such a grilling on his intentions and behaviours and it had all the weight of any of the dragon's pronouncements.

"You're going to be king one day. You're going to be a good king. And you'll need me to keep you safe."  
"You?" Arthur repeated, sceptical and amused. His eyes narrowed. "It was you in the cave, with the light, wasn't it? Even though you were dying?"

"I didn't know I was doing it!"

Arthur chuckled outright. He pushed himself out of his chair and leant to cuff Merlin on the shoulder.

"I suppose I do need you at that."

Merlin grinned up at him.

"And see that my blue shirt is clean for tomorrow. We must keep up your cover as the inept servant," he added, when Merlin frowned. "It's been quiet effective so far."

"Yes, my lord. As my lord wishes," Merlin recited and stood to get back to work.

"Just no more magic in the castle."

"No."

As he was leaving, Arthur stopped him with another hand to the shoulder.

"I'll keep you safe," Arthur promised. "If you'll do the same for me. And, well, thank you, Merlin. For saving my life."

"Thank you, too, Arthur."

Arthur smiled, something not quite as self assured as was usual. He looked liked the king he would become. Merlin retuned the smile warmly.


End file.
